From the Producers of TRON & ENCOM Presents: Beast Battles!
by Hack Generation
Summary: A boring day turns into a rematch when Beast Battles goes virtual reality in the Flynn's and their crew's Simulator Room! Who will triumph in this cracky bonus episode? Team TRUL2 or Team KEVSAM? Mentions of BBC Doctor Who, BBC Sherlock, and Narnia. Mild cursing.


_**A word from Hack: **_

_**Feral is an OC from PirateWeasel's series Imperfect Control. she is being used with permission**_

_**if you dont know what a Petite Lap Giraffe is go here:**_

_**wiki/Petite_Lap_Giraffe**_

_**watch?v=rkB9OT2XVvA**_

_**List of Songs to Choose to Play While Reading:**_

_**Glimmer of Hope by Ivan Torrent**_  
_**Icarus by Ivan Torrent**_  
_**Sky Sentinels by Ivan Torrent**_

* * *

Sam sighed as he watched his dad from where Sam stood leaning on the counter of the kitchen. With his head propped by up by his fist he was slightly dozing when Kevin shook him awake.

"Hey son, you want to battle?" Sam had no idea what he was talking about. "What battle? The Disc Games on the Grid?"

"No, even better! Remember that game we released?"

"Beast Battle?"

"Yeah!"

"Uh...yeah. Why?

"Well, I was thinking since everyone here is bored, why not do Beast Battle in the Sim Room downstairs?"

Sam blinked. "We have a Simulator Room?" he asked, looking slightly confused. "Like the X-Men?"

Kevin chuckled. "Something along those lines; although not quite the same caliber," he said. Sitting up with a groan he popped his back and stretched. "Well, what are we waiting for?"

Both of them headed downstairs with mischievous smirks on their faces as their minds filled with ideas for Beast Battle. Meanwhile CLU2 had heard their conversation and being the most curious of the programs invited to visit the User world, he turned and asked Alan, "What is this 'Beast Battle' they are speaking of?"

"You remember that game that Flynn somehow talked you into playing with you and Tron as a team against him and Sam?"

The Sys-admin frowned. That night of video games and movies had not been pleasant; especially when CLU2 and Tron won and his User pouted like a hyper-active child.

"Yes, I recall that event. What of it?" CLU2 asked, his arms crossed and his brows furrowed on his face from the frown.

"They made a Simulator Room version. It's all holograms, but quite realistic. Both opponents are on opposite sides of the room and they type commands into with a small keyboard. The commands appear over the battlefield and the programmed troops and animals materialize." Alan explained fluidly, obviously he'd helped program the simulations.

Quorra and Feral walked into the living room where the CLU2 and Alan were talking; Tron following behind them. "Whatever it is you're talking about, spill it. We can hear Sam laughing from the other room."

"Oh, CLU was asking about Beast Battle."

Quorra and Feral looked at each other and back at Alan.

"Let me guess…there's a version of it in the Sim-Room?" Feral asked.

"Yes. They haven't been down there that long either."

Tron had his head tilted to the side as he listened to the sudden commotion downstairs.

A shout came up the stairway. "WE CHALLENGE TRON AND CLU TO A REMATCH!"

Alan rolled his eyes "You know they won't let it go until you join in right?"

CLU2 huffed in annoyance. "If I have to let Flynn win...then so be it. Let's get this done and over with so I can watch that Doctor Who and Sherlock marathon you were talking about yesterday." Apparently the Sys-admin liked to watch anything that required an amount of intellect

Quorra snorted back a laugh. "Sherlock marathon?...hehehe"

Feral frowned when she heard CLU2's plans, as did Alan. "Doctor Who?" she asked Alan, shooting a skeptical look at the administration program at the same time.

"I think that would lead to CLU shouting at the screen 'that isn't logical!' and refusing to change the channel," Alan answered, since he knew how CLU2 behaved when things made no sense at all.

"There is nothing wrong with pointing out problems!" CLU2 said haughtily.

Tron asked curiously, "Why not? Flynn said that it was unhealthy to do so. It was—what did Alan-1 call it? Borderline obsessive compulsive disorder?"

"I do not have behavioral glitches, unlike a certain User at the moment." CLU2 said, glaring at the group in general.

Feral sighed. "As I recall, when Alan showed you the preview of the marathon for the 11th Doctor, you said—and I quote—'In just as short period of time from now, it will be shown that that logic is incorrect and I am not going to miss seeing it when it happens...' unquote."

"Of course! The incorrect must be corrected in order for proper knowledge to be gained."

Alan and Quorra stared at CLU2 for a moment before Alan heaved a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "CLU, you know that this is just a TV show, right?" he asked, gesturing to the newest Doctor Who logo keychain that was lying on the coffee table.

CLU2 blinked. "What does that matter? He's obviously not checking all of the data properly..."

"COME ON, GUYS!" Kevin shouted from the door of the Simulator room.

Quorra and Feral went to make popcorn and other snack food. "You guys go ahead," the ISO said to Tron and Alan. "Yeah, we'll bring the snacks," Feral chimed in. Tron nodded and walked down the stairs first with Alan behind him and CLU2 in tow.

The three men weren't prepared for what the game looked like in the full glory of the Simulator Room. When they entered it was if they had stepped through a wardrobe into a fantasy world of wildlife and medieval kings and queens. Alan almost expected to see a lamp post and a faun waiting for them.

Instead, a holographic samurai walked towards them and said, "Welcome strangers! What brings you here? There is a war about to break out! Are you the new recruits?" Tron and CLU2 stared while Alan looked as though he couldn't decide to be amused or not. "Kevin, show me the stairs so I can be out of your line of fire!" Alan said, sounding half amused, half annoyed already.

Kevin Flynn laughed and a portion of the simulation dissolved to reveal a flight of stairs leading up to two balconies on either side of the room. There were small rooms in each balcony from which the players could control their armies. There was also a spectator box that looked suspiciously like it'd been recently added.

Qorra and Feral arrived—snacks in their hand—and headed straight for the spectator box. Alan quickly followed.

"Aw, come on man! Ya' gotta help me out!" Kevin yelled from the player box as he leaned over the rail.

"Sorry, but not today." Flynn's friend answered flatly.

"Dude, seriously. Dad's just gonna whine if you don't!" Sam said in complaint.

Alan merely shook his head and joined the girls. Taking an offered Twix from Quorra—who was holding a bowl filled with miniature candy bars he said, "I need a moment with my Twix! A very long moment that will last the whole fight!" He waved the candy bar at the Flynns. Feral threw a Snickers bar at Kevin's head. How she could throw with that much accuracy so far away while in the spectator box no one bothered to ask. They had all seen her in action in the Games while on the Grid and had seen her skills.

"What in the blue hell was that for?!" Kevin yelled at her, holding his head where the candy bar had struck him.

In the spectator box, Feral just shrugged in answer.

"You're not you when you're hungry Dad." Sam sniggered.

CLU2 and Tron were waiting in their control room for the Users to settle down. Not one to have patience for Users and their antics CLU2 called out "Shut up and start it already!"

The game booted up and each opponent chose what army they would use as they typed in commands that appeared in midair on the battle grounds. CLU2 chose Nobunaga's army from the Sengoku period of Japan along with archers. Tron added some horsemen. One would program what was added to the field while the other controlled their actions.

Kevin chose gladiators, a very small Roman army and 300 Spartans as requested from Sam.

A timer counted down as the armies materialized.

A small, high-pitched Japanese voice filled the air. "3...2...1! Readyyyy GO!"

CLU2 and Tron immediately focused on taking out the skilled warriors in the Roman army with their horsemen; sending the horsemen to charge and clash with them. They used archers to take out some of the gladiators as the Romans broke the front line of the programs army and began to take down the samurais.

The environment changed to the African wilderness. It materialized all over the walls and floor; while the balconies for the opponents and the spectator box were transformed into bamboo towers with windows so everyone could still see. It seemed very realistic indeed as holographic birds flew past and a lion lounged under the shade of a tree.

Kevin let out a mild curse when CLU2 typed in a command and the words appeared on the battle field:_ [insert: weapon(s) quantity: 20, type: cannons/cannon balls/fuses]_

Tron typed in another command that didn't appear overhead.

Some of the samurai and archers were ordered to prepare the cannons. Sam had several Spartans charge them to try and prevent the soldiers from getting them ready.

"STOP THEM NOW!" a Roman commander screamed at the Spartans.

Tron entered a sentence that appeared: _[cannons: fire at will]_

The samurai general shouted, "FIRE CANNONS AT WILL," raising his hand and letting it fall. The cannons went off and the room vibrated with the loud blast. Quorra choked on her soda at the sound of the blast and Feral gaped.

Smiling, Feral gave Tron a thumbs up. "Nice one!" she complimented. The security program merely nodded.

The Spartans that had been sent out to thwart the cannons were gone; having disappeared in the explosion of dust, shrapnel, and arrows from CLU2's archers.

Kevin smirked. "Two can play at that game!" he said, quickly programming in catapults. Sam moved the gladiators to launch the huge weapons.

_[insert: weapons(s): catapults: rock boulder/tar/flint]_

CLU2 watched in horror as the boulders were set alight with fire. Sam had the gladiators pull and push the now loaded catapults into place, while the Spartans held off Nobunaga's army.

Another sentence appeared.

_[Launch: balls of doom]_

The Roman general shouted out the command, "Launch Balls of Doom!" In the spectator box Quorra and Feral fell into helpless giggles at the command and even Alan was chuckling. Kevin and Sam glared at the laughing spectators before quickly returning their attention to the game.

The boulders flew through the air and headed straight for the cannons.

Tron quickly tried to get footmen and samurai out of the strike radius but to no avail. The boulders landed in a fury of fire. Nobunaga's army was cut down to half.

CLU2 smiled evilly as he had an idea. Taking from memory a recent movie he had seen CLU2 input commands. _[insert: nonhuman(s): orcs of Mordor/Sauron]_

The skies turned dark and sound effects were perfect as hidden surround sound speakers made the thunder and lightning seem real. A medium sized squad of Orcs stormed the catapults and brought them down, however they were all slain by the Spartans and their spears.

Sam gaped and said, "Hey! No fair…" as Sauron took out the Roman general Julius.

"Oh, it is perfectly fair, User," the Sys-admin chuckled.

There was a flash of light and the holographic clouds on the ceiling spread away as a shaft of light shone down on an armored woman upon a horse.

_[insert: human(s) heroine: female: Joan of Arc]_

She charged with her sword held high.

Joan jumped off her steed and slashed her large broadsword down on Sauron.

Alan smiled and said, "Button mashing in 3…"

Quorra chimed in, "2..."

Feral leaned forward, watching the showdown about to start, "1..."

All three shouted, "BUTTON MASH…GO!"

Tron quickly worked the commands for moving Sauron, fingers flying over his keyboard. Sam was doing the same but having a harder time because he had to make Joan counter the heavy blows Sauron was dealing.

Feral was cheering on Sauron, pumping one fist into the air while cupping her other hand around her mouth, "Team TRUL2 for the win! Go Sauron!"

Alan laughed at Feral's mash up of Tron and CLU2, the faces of the programs were priceless, looking horrified for a moment before turning back to the brawl. "You know that's not the way that you normally put the team members' names together to make a team name," he told her.

Feral gave him an unconcerned look and then grinned. "It has only letters found in their names," Feral pointed out. "I played a lot of Scrabble with my family as a kid," she said, her grin growing even larger at the look on Alan's face. "So sue me…"

Quorra was cheering on Joan. "Come on girl, show some femme fatale!" the ISO yelled as she threw some popcorn at Sauron. That earned the ISO a glare from CLU2 and she merely sniggered at his irritation.

Sauron struck a blow to Joan's shoulder and she dropped her sword, holding her arm. He hit her legs and she fell backwards with a yell of protest.

_/health critical/_

Tron entered: _[finish duel]_

Sauron raised his own heavy sword slowly and Sam went for the move he created on his own.

_[sad eyes/mush brows/tilt head]_

The heroine did exactly that and Feral groaned when Tron canceled the command and stared at Joan. "Seriously?" Feral yelled at the team of Users. "The pity me thing!? Booo! That should be a foul!" Quorra couldn't disagree, she face palmed.

CLU2 huffed and said, "Just do it already, will you!" He was too late.

_[insert: human(s) heros: males: Riders of Rohan]_

Several horsemen charged Sauron and knocked him down; the horses stamping and kicking him while the soldiers jumped off and finished him with their weapons.

Sam was laughing, "Tron, you totally fell for that!"

Tron frowned, clearly unamused. Kevin looked back and forth between CLU2 and Alan's disapproving looks. "What? Works every time when he does it…"

His friend sighed, and asked, "And where do you think he learned that from?"

There was a sudden screech and shadows passed over the ground as clouds cleared slightly as dragon-like creatures appeared in the 'sky'.

[_insert: beast(s) quantity 12: Nazguls]_

They made short work of the Riders and decimated the Roman army; leaving only the gladiators, Spartans, and Joan of Arc left.

Sam hurriedly input: _[regroup/defense mode]_

He then looked at his father and said, "We gotta come up with something! They're gonna beat us at this rate!" Kevin looked thoughtful before saying "We need to take out the Nazguls but with what?"

Their little army was struggling.

* * *

_/alert: defeat imminent. Yield? y/n /_

Kevin clicked the 'No'.

Sam's face brightened and he called a time out.

"There's no way you guys can do that!" Feral said, rather annoyed when the game paused.

Flynn ignored her as he observed Team TRUL2's army. "Just think of this as a small break, I need to stretch."

Alan pulled his arm behind his back, taking advantage of the time to stretch as well.

Quorra agreed. "I need to pee," she said, standing up. "Cheer for Team KEVSAM for me if they continue without me." She quickly went through a hidden exit that led upstairs to the main portion of the house.

Both opponents studied the others army.

Kevin and Sam's army was smaller than when they had started and the opposing army was down to the Nazguls, a squad of samurais, and their archers.

"Nice idea, lad!" Kevin told Sam, using a horrible pirate accent.

"Dad, no...just no."

Meanwhile CLU2 was confident that he and Tron would win. It was annoying that the security program was voicing doubts.

"We could use an actual dragon right?" Tron was asking, "Wouldn't that work better than the Nazguls? They do have a weakness, I think."

"Stop worrying, we could just use Mordred if you're so concerned," CLU2 replied.

"...alright…"

* * *

Quorra came back and Alan sat down.

Feral had somehow slipped out and gotten more munchies for them at some point without the others noticing.

The game was un-paused. "3...2...1! Readyyyy…GO!"

Tron input an attack on the little army that was barely surviving the onslaught of arrows and samurai. Abruptly there was a blinding light and the voice of a king and his men was heard.

Kevin entered Sam's first plan: _[insert: human(s) heroes: men: Knights of Round Table: King Arthur]_

Sam created an epic entrance for King Arthur and his knights.

_[mount horse/charge with Knights of Round Table/help Joan of Arc.]_

"Knights of the Round Table! Aid and charge!" Atop a mighty steed was King Arthur in all his glory along with his people.

_[raise weapon. use light. burn nazguls]_

As King Authur raced down to help Joan of Arc he raised his blade, "Excalibur! Burn out the darkness with your Holy Light!" Kevin snorted, shaking his head. He added the second part of the plan:

_[insert: weapon(s) quantity 12: metal nets]_

The Nazguls screamed as they were singed and dragged down by nets.

The knights fought valiantly and slew the Nazguls. Sam made the Spartans sneak around to take down the archers.

CLU2 input a command when his samurais managed to capture Joan and held her hostage.

Sam hissed, "Dammit!"

_[insert: beast(s) quantity 10: lions]_

The animals appeared roaring and tackling King Arthur's allies to the ground, then mauling them.

"Jeez CLU overkill much?" Flynn asked him.

Fingers danced on the keyboard and Joan broke free; murdering her captor and standing back to back with Arthur. CLU2 smirked when he input the son of King Arthur.

"This will be your downfall Flynn!" he called to his User.

_[insert: human(s): male: Mordred]_

The Sys-admin was feeling highly competitive now, forgetting all about the plan to let Kevin win.

Tron looked mortified when he ordered Mordred to attack and Joan and Arthur fought him together. He halted Mordred's actions abruptly.

_[STOP]_

Mordred looked confused. Okay maybe the game was **too realistic.**

"_What are you doing!?"_ CLU2 demanded from Tron.

"It is not right. I refuse to kill his father with his hands."

"We don't have time for this you, _bit-wit!_"

The Spartans attacked the archers. Sam was smirking as he typed.

_[Ambush. defeat archers]_

"Yaaah! Take them down!" Quorra cheered.

CLU2 hurriedly summoned hyenas.

[_insert: beast(s) quantity: 18 hyenas]_

Tron was also shocked by the ambush and tapped furiously at the keyboard.

_[Grab arm/pull/jump/bite down.]_

The Spartans were cut down to eight men. King Arthur was defended by Joan of Arc from a fatal blow by a samurai's katana. Joan fell dead on the battlefield, having taken the blow herself. Sam looked at his father and nodded. Kevin materialized a silver looking horn, hollowed out with an opening in the end

_[insert: weapon(s) quantity 5 Horns. silver battle call]_

Sam made the Spartans back off as they were now cut down to only 5 men who fought along with King Arthur. The other three had taken arrows to the throat or head.

_[Retreat/pick up horns.]_

CLU2 and Tron were confused. "It seems they're regrouping, we sho—"

_[Sound call!]_

Tron was interrupted when he heard the loud blowing of several Silver Horns, all resonating in harmony. The ground began to shake as the Spartans stood on top of a large boulder, cheeks puffed as they blew hard. A large cloud of dust appeared in the distance. Or what really was the wall as the stampede of animals got closer.

CLU2 squinted and then began to type furiously. Shields were made for the few remaining samurai and foot soldiers.

He looked at Tron who was trying to get them to form a protective barrier.

_[Defend/close in.]_

Kevin and Sam looked absolutely **evil. **

They began to laugh together and a single command on the screen appeared after Kevin had secretly input his own.

_[insert: combination armored beast(s)" quantity: 100 giraffes]_

Sam let it show up and Alan gaped, "This won't end well"

Feral asked, "Why?"

"See for yourself." said Quorra, gesturing at the command that glowed in midair.

_[RELEASE THE WAR GIRAFFES!]_

Sam and his dad shouted it out when it appeared; then cheered as the ground rumbled and the animals came into view stampeding over Team TRUL2's army.

The armor was grotesque on the giraffes as they attacked what remained of their enemy; mowing them down or kicking them across the battle field. Those who tried to get close to deal damage, like the lions, were maimed or killed on the numerous spikes on the hindquarter and shin armor. Shoulder plates also had spikes for the Spartan's to climb and mount between the spikes on the beast's back. One of the Spartan's slipped as he tried to mount the armored giraffe; impaling himself on the spikes of the beast's armor instead of seating himself on the giraffe's back.

There were metal horns covering the giraffes' original ones along with facial armor that had spikes and was a top skull. The ankle guards and chest plate as well as the knee cuffs were studded with spikes. There was a jointed front plate of armor for the neck and a strip of spikes on the back of the giraffe's necks.

CLU2 made one last effort to win the battle and summoned armored tigers.

_[attack: neck swing]_ Sam input.

The big cats failed miserably when the giraffes swung their necks, revealing the jointed strip of spikes on the back of them; slashing at the poor felines before delivering a kick that impaled the tigers and lions on the spikes of their ankle guards.

One particular giraffe was controlled by both Sam **and** Kevin.

Tron was trying to keep their last general from being killed. The giraffe went after the general with a demented look in its eyes as it ran the general down and kicked and stamped on him. The rest of the herd of war giraffes were now surrounding the 3 remaining samurai, walking around them in a circle. The Spartans had all been eliminated in the final showdown.

The one giraffe that ran down General Nagasa had King Arthur riding on its back. He sat between two large spikes.

_[Do you admit defeat?]_

Arthur spoke, asking, "Does thee yield?" Kevin was grinning and the three person audience in the spectator box was holding their breaths in suspense.

Tron suddenly remembered something and typed: _[tackle Arthur/avoid impalement]_

The samurai was successful in bringing the king down and held onto his shoulder with one hand while the other held a ninjato against the man's neck.

_[Yield or die]_

"Surrender or die, King Arthur," said the samurai.

_[insert: beast(s) quantity 1: petite lap giraffe]_ Kevin input at his son's command.

When the little giraffe materialized the war giraffes surrounding the remaining three samurais stopped to look; the little thing was only the size of a lapdog. The war giraffes made a strange sound similar to "_Daawww._" Feral was laughing and Quorra was gushing over the little giraffe while Alan was amazed that Team KEVSAM would use such a tiny little thing.

"Your ruler will die if you don't surrender Petite Lap Giraffe!" shouted the samurai.

All of the other giraffes knelt and King Arthur dropped his sword and held up his hands in surrender, disgusted.

PLG (Petite Lap Giraffe) gave out a tiny, bleating sound before its little horns glowed red and a command line appeared above it saying:

_[Im'a fire in meh laser! BWAAAAAAAAH!]_

The giraffe opens its mouth and a blast of fire came out and hit the samurai while Sam typed furiously to make Arthur duck. PLG turned on the rest of the samurai and burned them as well; then it turns to look at the giraffes. Two lasers shot out from its horns and killed them when the lasers swept across and beheaded them. The animals all fell.

Everyone was silent. Then the game announced the winners. "_WINNER_: Kevin Sam! Sug_oooiii_ desu!"

Quorra cheered and Alan clapped his hands with Feral, who was trying to look polite at the programs loss. CLU2 looked murderous and Tron merely heaved a sigh. Yes they had lost; but it was only a game and at least his User was happy. As they exited the opponent boxes and began to head to upstairs the holograms broke down and disappeared. The room gradually turned dark.

What nobody noticed was that one hologram hadn't vanished with the others.

* * *

Alan turned on the T.V. to the BBC network for the Doctor Who special marathon. Everyone decided that they would watch together; although it was more to see CLU2's reactions than watch it themselves.

More food had been served and Quorra said to Feral, "At this rate we're going to get fat." Feral only scoffed.

Sam however hadn't come upstairs; he'd gone into another room adjoined to the Sim-Room when he heard a noise.

There was a commotion and Sam came barreling upstairs. He put down a small pillow on the couch next to Tron and said excitedly, "Look what I found!"

Everyone turned their attention to Sam and froze. Eyes wide, all but CLU2 who looked exasperated.

PLG was gently placed on the pillow and it made a small grunting sound as it settled. Sam sat down next to it and began petting the giraffe; picking up his sandwich and feeding bites of lettuce to the little creature, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Kevin opened his mouth and looked as though he was about to say something. Alan held up a hand to forestall Kevin, his face stern as he said, "Never. Playing. Again."

"But—"

"No."

"We could—"

"No!"

"Alan—"

"No, Flynn," Alan's voice sounded scolding. "Never. Again."

Kevin looked as though he wanted to pout. What he would give for a yard full of Petite Lap Giraffes! He crossed his arms and stared longingly at PLG, muttering "Where's _my_ Lap Giraffe? Would've been good for fighting Smurfs."

The next day Sam's dad snuck down into the Sim-Room. When he looked through the games, though, he couldn't find the game he was looking for.

Damn it! Beast Battles had been deleted from the Sim-Room database. It was also restricted from being re-downloaded. Alan had beaten him to the database.

Alan whistled as he made pancakes. He had a USB of all the blueprints to unlock the download restriction destroyed by PLG who was sitting on the counter and waiting for its food. He fed it a bit of pancake as a treat.

Best decision ever.

* * *

_**if u missed the references...Narnia is the first refernece when Alan, Tron, and CLU2 walk into the Sim-Room**_

_**second reference is Imagine Dragon's music video for Radioactive for when PLG blasts lasers and breathes fire.**_

_**this came about wen i had a toy giraffe with me and some modeling clay. i sudenly got the idea of makin an armor girafffe and molded the clay into armor. the giraffe looked gothic despite the fact that the modeling clay is YELLOW.**_

_**then i referenced Narnia and called it a war giraffe.**_


End file.
